Where do I begin?!! It's been almost 5 months since I've blogged. When I last wrote, I had recently had the mastectomy. I was waiting to see the oncologist. When I did meet with the oncologist, she said there was a chance I wouldn't need chemotherapy!! I would have to have part of the tumor sent to a lab in California where genetic testing would be done on it. The Lord paved the way for that test to take place. The results came back and stated that I was in the low risk category for recurrence of cancer, therefore chemo was not necessary! I was surprised by that, I had prepared myself for undergoing chemo. My 13 year old, Ethan, had said all along that I wouldn't have to have chemo. I had been trying to prepare him for the strong liklihood that I would....but he would always say, "No mom, you aren't going to have to have it".... He said he "just knew it". The oncologist prescribed Tomoxifen for me and wanted me to take it for the next 5 years. It is an estrogen blocking drug. The thing is I never could get a peace in my spirit about taking it. Isn't that surprising since I was prepared to take chemo? It didn't make sense to me. I continued praying about it, really struggling with God over it. But I never did get peace about taking it....so I haven't. I continued with the appts with the plastic surgeon through the summer concerning the reconstruction. Just a month ago I underwent my final reconstruction surgery. According to the doctor I should be fully recovered from this last surgery by December.
What an experience.... I learned so much about God, faith, trust, and myself. In the midst of fear, I experienced the strength of the Lord that came when I made the willful choice to trust Him. And I don't mean trusting Him for my healing. I mean trusting Him. Even if the days He ordained for me to live were coming to an end.... Such peace came when I trusted Him. THEN, days later I heard a still small voice in my spirit that said, "this is NOT unto death". He understood my humaness when I asked Him to please confirm that word to me. The very next Sunday my pastor interrupted the service with a word the Holy Spirit had just spoken to his heart. The word was that there was someone present who was going through the toughest experience of their life and they had wondered if they were going to die as a result of what they were going through. But the Lord said to tell them that they weren't going to die from this....that they could have peace in the midst of this storm. That their life on earth was not finished and God had much to do in and through them. Wow....I knew that God had confirmed the word He spoke to my heart.
I also experienced once again the power and comfort of God's Word. It is called the sword of the Spirit for a reason. He wants us to know His word, but He also wants us to speak it. To speak His promises, pray His truths. How many times does the Word say, "I will SAY of the Lord....." He wants us to SAY His promises. I know from my firsthand experience that it is powerful. It is also faith building.
He is such a wonderful God. I give Him all praise, honor and glory for healing me. I thank Him for the strength and supernatural peace that I (and my family) lived in for months on end. He is so faithful.